I’ve changed…hopefully for the better. As I grew and learned. I found out that growing may not be as glamorous as I hoped. Yet I found peace in knowing that I’m working for every blessing, lesson and triumph… My advice to you is. Keep trying to get better and be thankful along the way. 🌌 […]
It was a rough year for me in order to find the answer for “Who is the one that I must accept?”; some might find it’s essential to get the answer at the early stage of our lives, but some may not. The question is not about “Who am I?” but about the fact of accepting oneself and everything relate to it.
All things must be considered carefully before I turn back to my original person, as an INFJ with most likely personality type to say they have many secrets no one else knows; I chose to deny this characteristic and build another, whom the society around me can feel safe and less intimidating. And this become one of my greatest A/B testing to reveal which one is better: the new or the old one.
So, after a 3-year times and the moment of truth has come, to make this in short and easy to understand the whole concept. I’d like to put it in bullet points as below for the “new” me:
- The “new” me is dragging me down slowly. By exposing myself to the environment, I tend to push myself into parties, meet new people and learn more about them. This is the time when I found myself as an Ambivert
- Logical thinking is terrible and it’t suck! Why am I saying that? Those kind of questions are running around my head all the time because it’s quite fun to be “not so smart” but in return, there is a trust issue with me. People starts to talk and dislike that fact that I’m in the meeting room and raise some stupid questions, at least I’ve known so far.
- While this open a new career path for me to explore and unexpectedly, it’s the answer for my ideal job later on: working as a Product/ Project Manager. Understanding not only the technical side but also the human side.
- Moreover, stress level is also raising due to fact that I’m using the assertive side of mine to solve some of the problems. Meaning that people also think that I’m untrustworthy because for me what is done in the past is done, but not for them. Basically, the stress is from the relationship in my workplace.
Eventually, I decided to wrap-up and put this new version of me into the closet; it’s unusual for me to de-evaluate my core value and lose my focus on building my strengths: creative, insightful, inspiring and conviction, decisive, determine and passionate, altruistic. Nevertheless, embrace the weaknesses and learn from it such as be sensitive but how to analyze the root-cause of this.
Back in my previous blog: 5 Easy Ways You Can Turn Effective Into Success; I mentioned about planning at the beginning of the day but didn’t make it with details on how to approach and practice this habit daily or weekly.
In order to plan easily and effectively, I start with a full picture of my day (since I really enjoy the alone time to review myself & visualize what happen to my 16-hour); it would give me a chance of observing as a 3rd-person from any point of view, for I would say this is a short story, and everyday would become a small chapter that it could be reviewed, reconnected & rediscovered.
This is not a one-day routine nor a habit which could be obtain through a night, by fully visualize our day during the end of our day (this is a perfect time to do so since I did finished all the primary things that should be taken care of), I need to review all the events with information but not the emotion itself. Mostly, we just stop at the result of what we did such as how the meeting end up with a huge disappointment from participants, but surely we didn’t review the whole meeting from its beginning. Instead of doing so from time to time, I start with 3 main questions:
- What information did I get from today?
- What information did not clear for me from today?
- What event did make me think most until now?
From this point, I will start to review a picture of my day where I could understand myself and even the person who involved in a particular event in terms of approaching an issue, solving a problem or perceive a range of data. During this time, there is no pressure in putting feeling because I’m extracting the information from any action of the day, which shall become my foundation of moving on to the next step: reconnect.
Reconnect & Rediscover
By reconnect, I would compare it to a retrospective in my workplace, since it’s a perfect way to put all things on the table and see what I did from yesterday, what are things that I’ve done for today and last but not least is the difficulties while perform a certain activity. Otherwise, you can imagine this is a step in which we shall connecting the dots in order to create a meaningful story. This is the phase where I shall both realize and learn something from my day, it’s not just a single day from a lifetime but a full vision of different days.
Lately, I did read a book: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, which is astonishing in reminisce about what I learn and influence my way of working, thinking for the past 8 years. The context is accessible that lead by example, but on top of that is the strong self-reflection in order to help readers discover things in their lives such as self-awareness, imagination, conscience & independent will.
For the next 2 days, there was a conversation between me and my co-worker, the topic was about how she can get out of the stress and do the job effectively during the day; after 2 hours of back-and-forward, we did figured out the step that need to be taken during her working day, here what it is look like:
Start planning for the day
We might’ve heard this advice from lots of pages, articles, and research from well-known people: plan your day after you wake up in the morning, because it’s the best time of the day when we can spend some quality alone time to think and plan for the day.
To be able to do so, we have to prepare & perceive some other things first; if we want to plan wisely, we need to see the purpose of why planning so. By aggregate the information from our previous execution’ result, we can clearly determine what – when – how – why of serving for a certain desire.
Research for your job scope & company expectation
Settle time is crucial, knowing what to do with your position could help you a lot. Plus, know-how to connect your success with the demand from the company will reward you greatly in the long run (begin with the end in mind – think win-win).
From times, we would jump right of to the new position without a question of getting familiar with the job description, somehow it’s good to do so if we’re in the same position, industry for a period of time, but as a suggestion, we need to look at the job description, envision on the daily basis, furthermore: research on cross-organization to get a bigger picture on your position: what are the jobs that similar or non-similar to yours.
In addition, knowing our job scope is good but how to make it into great? Here it is the time to match your action – result into the company’s vision & mission.
The more we reflect ourselves, reconnect on what we’ve learnt to what we did, we could rediscover many important things that could lead us to successful with effective research
Figure-out the routine of your daily basis
Knowing what happen to you during the 8-hour of working as a pattern would extremely help you in scheduling an effective working day (be proactive -synergize). Working in a private or cross-functional projects would let us experience new things such knowledge or skill, but have we sit down and connect the daily basis of this 8-hour of working into a pattern? What need to be done in a day/ week/ month? Is it happen chronologically or randomly?
By considering the occurrence of surrounding, we can proactively prepare ourselves for most of the situation.
Understanding the prioritize matrix in order to reasonably say “no”
By acknowledging the urgency & importance from the request that come to you, you will easily put through the decision making whether to say “yes” or “no” with certainty. (put first thing first – seek first to understand then to be understood).
Situation or issue come to us frequently but in many different forms, but down from the bottom of the bottle, it’s just information and the way we conceive it to generate our next reaction. Something important but does not need right now or vice versa, so there are 4 sections that we need to take a look into:
- Important – Urgent: do it now!
- Not Important – Urgent: delegate it!
- Important – Not urgent: plan it!
- Not important – Not urgent: screw it, there is no point in doing this!
You need courage to pursuit information from others, talk to people to get a clear situation because we’re not just do it for ourselves but also to others, too.
Always review and look back on the day
This is the time that we will use to relax and self-reflect, reconnect & re-discover about ourselves (sharpen the saw).
In fact, we don’t do this timely or not at all at some point, since the thought of “let’s call it a day” is literally relax and no think about work at all. So now it’s the point for us to upgrade and add more value to this time.
By reflecting on what we did during the day would help us procreate the scenario, so as to collect data & information. This will lead us to the next step of reconnecting them to ourselves, then it shall let us rediscover many ways of thinking and response under a certain stimulus.
So what do you think about those steps? You’re welcome to leave comments and may even discuss with me on matters. Thank you for your time and if you find out something of yourself after reading this, please do share & like the post.
The recent Gallup Survey in 2017 shows that more than 67% of the workforce in America are not engaged. Employees who just show up in the office for the sake of showing up and getting their pay-check at the end of the month. Employees who just follow instructions and stopped thinking critically. Employees who are so used to staying in their comfort zones that they stopped growing and challenging each other. Disengaged employees are potential social capital left untapped and costing America somewhere between 450 billion USD to 550 billion USD annually. The bigger question is: How much is it costing your company? The cost of not letting go is just too high. Leaders know they are the problem. And their comfort zone is starting to become uncomfortable.
A lot of us are brought up and educated in management mindsets based on hierarchical command and control in other word: micro-management, which is instruct and direct, and mind-boggling bureaucratic processes (tons of paperwork and cluster in giving a final decision!). This approach worked well for driving productivity and efficiency in production economy, but is it an outstanding approach for innovation and engagement in our current creativity economy, where we can see the booming of young & passionate employees?
Growth and changes can’t happen while we just stay in our comfort zone. Leaders would need to adopt a new mindset whereby the traction of leaders can emerge on the basis of their knowledge, expertise rather than on formal position in organizational structure. Leadership can be inspired among team members, not just only from the leader him/herself, depending on who has the needed skills, knowledge or attitude in the moment.
Follow the idea and definition of Franklin Covey, at various times, cross-team members can significantly influence the team. Leaders need to intentionally build and understand the nature of the Speed of Trust, disciplinary habit and transparent communication, through principles based on clarity of purpose, values, goals and processes for communication and decision-making. When someone drops the ball or act irresponsibly or just an act of blaming, they would not only pass around the de-motivation attitude but also the relationship between members.
At this moment, leaders are actually take back much more in terms of their influence, as staff feels more trusted, empowered, engaged, creative and be responsible on what they are doing.
Read more on: https://leaderscreateleaders.asia/how-can-leaders-let-go-more/
It is not difficult to recognize the signs of a whether he just wanted to take advantage of your affection for his own purposes or as a man know your interest. To help you recognize your man, I have something to share with you.
- Your man will bring good things for you. A bad guy will only make you mad all day.
2.A promise is a promise, your man will do it because deep down inside his heart, he is willing to do it
- Your man will see your success is the pride of all him, let you feel comfortable and confident with your decision, and glad that you can stand on your own feet. Please don’t think bad about this case ’cause some of you might think gals are always weak and need a helping hand. Please don’t feel that way, you are amazing and beautiful in many ways, strong more than any man and wise enough to make any decision.
Your man thinks you’re the most beautiful woman in his eyes. Bad guys with wandering eyes on the body of any other girl. I think somehow it be incorrect because it is a mixture from having “the one” in man’s heart and looking at different woman, I don’t have any sense of looking at girls passing by the streets since I only think about my girl, lovely animals. That’s it! So with this point, I have no argument so far.
More or less, you will see that every day with your man will always be special and full of love; from morning message to a bouquet of flowers or just a song through your voice mail.
Your man will sometimes be very talkative whenever with you but still, by the time you start to talk and make conversation, there is nothing could him more interesting than your voice and story.
Your man will always gives you a sense of security and protection. The man is very good at making you jealous bad infuriating and always wanted to check his phone (of course, never touched the phone he was then). A good man is not just only big, muscle or 6 pack and loads of money, the think about this “security” and “protection” is the time when your man can make a decision and think far more than just for himself or recklessly do something just because you like it. In short, think before he acts and think again about his action toward something.
His family, yup, he always want to introduce you to all the friends and relatives of his. Bad guys to hide everything, you did not even know where his house, he only knew to head in the same alley.
There is more than just taking care of you, your man will have this sense when be with you, the feeling of taking care his precious one, enjoyed both small care for you. The man does not even bad for your care about.
10. It is quite common for me to do this: text my girl and ask whether she got home safe or not, I am not telling you that I am a model or something but I believe that this act from mine is not controlling or things like that but to calm down my feeling since there are lots of things could happen on the road. A text from this situation could make you think “why he’s always asking the same question for days?” but please, it is just to confirm with our minds that you are back home safely.
So in the end, good luck with your journey and one more thing, don’t find your man, let him find you and prove that he’s worth for your care and love.
It is really impressive of how these pictures can show me the way I am now. Sometimes it is hard to describe my inner feelings, this will help me a lot in any way. Thank you for sharing. One of the most important thing that I’ve learnt from these pictures is how me and my beloved one can stay together in harmony.
They perceive the world through different lens…
The approaches they use to interact with others…
How they are perceived differently in other people’s eyes…
When they are in the workplace…
In their free time…
When they are in a relationship…
Their life missions…
Recently, me and my friend are having some thoughts about open a co-working space for people who likes to work outside of their cubes. So during this time, I am so busy with research and collect ideas, concept from everywhere from the Internet and even walked into a co-working space in Ho Chi Minh city. But then, what I found out was: there is nothing so call “Working Space” because all of those places are about coffee and taking photos. So in the end, there is a hope for me to think and approach this new concept, which is purely design with new style and environment…wait and see what will happen.
There will be so much things to think after you read these lines, first of all, I want to apologize since I don’t have the original link or post from the author. So, if you can find or happen to see the original post, just tell me and I will add it up to my post as a ref. Thank you!
Animals or not, for me they are the same with us, full of emotion and love. I know that in Vietnam and Korean or Thailand, we are having a bad culture of eating dog meat…for me, this is a crime and need to be stopped. In this post, we will see many beautiful moment between this owner and her dog. So much things to say….so much tears…you may think I am immature and just cry like a baby, that will be okay because through all the stories, I can feel the pain and the desire of holding time for not let her dog away from her and family.
1. You’re comfortable being together while doing different things
2. You also have your own ambition and interests, though sometimes you’d miss him
3. Even if she wouldn’t know it, it’s still worth taking care of her
4. He may not be good at it, but he isn’t afraid to let you see his clumsy actions
5. Expensive gifts aren’t impressive at all, you just enjoy staying together
6. Silence is really fine. You won’t try hard to initiate a conversation that impresses the person
7. Having someone you can be a kid with is beautiful. You don’t mind showing your childish side at all
8. You won’t be worried about if he/she likes what you like
9. It’s okay to behave like a child whenever you like
10. You always have a carefree attitude being together
11. You just act like yourself. And it doesn’t really matter when it’s not elegant enough
12. You don’t care about if your poses are attractive enough
13. Making mistakes is fine. He/she wouldn’t blame you for petty things
14. Sometimes you play like a girl, sometimes like a boy
15. Date night can be a simple late-night snack at your favorite diner.
16. True love means trusting someone to help you get ready for the day.
17. Sometimes you indulge together, and it’s simply…amazing
18. Simply a chat is great
19. You aren’t afraid to show your fragile side. No matter what happens, he’d tell you everything is going to be alright
Thank you lifehack for reminding me and give another chance of showing how love can be influenced among us.